


The Doll

by TheTimeTraveler24



Series: Riordanverse One-Shots [10]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Children of the Big Three (Percy Jackson), Comedy, Crack, Gen, Hazel Levesque is so Pure, Horror, Jason Grace & Percy Jackson Bromance, Nico is Just So Done™, Percy swears once, Prompt Fic, The Gods are a Mess, Will Solace is a Ball of Sunshine, Will Solace is so Pure, also the gods casually discuss overthrowing zeus, but i mean the concept is horror, everyone is a mess, horror prompt, its just a funny outcome, this was meant to be horror but turned into this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimeTraveler24/pseuds/TheTimeTraveler24
Summary: "You found a cursed, talking doll and didn't tell me?""To be fair he was really friendly at first.""And he told us not to tell anyone.""... You've got to be kidding me.""What?""First, you are never allowed anywhere near an antique shop ever again and second, when a doll starts talking to you and tells you not to tell anyone about it you should most definitely tell someone about it!"
Relationships: Hazel Levesque & Will Solace, Jason Grace & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Riordanverse One-Shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887385
Comments: 21
Kudos: 224





	The Doll

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Prompts_For_The_Unknown](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Prompts_For_The_Unknown) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> "You found a cursed, talking doll and didn't tell me?"
> 
> "To be fair he was really friendly at first,"
> 
> "And he told us not to tell anyone,"
> 
> "... You've got to be kidding me,"
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "First, you are never allowed anywhere near an antique shop ever again and second, when a doll starts talking to you and tells you not to tell anyone about it you should most defiantly tell someone about it!"

There was a long list of stupid things Nico di Angelo could list that his friends had done. Most of that list was contributed to by Percy or Jason. But by far the stupidest thing he’d ever heard just had to be done by his boyfriend and his sister.

Will Solace and Hazel Levesque gave Nico innocent smiles.

“So let me get this straight,” Nico began.

“That’s not possible,” Will said. His lips twitched.

Nico turned a glare on him. “You found a cursed, talking doll and didn’t tell me?”

“To be fair,” Hazel said, “he was really friendly at first.”

“And he told us not to tell anyone,” Will added.

_ The cursed doll seemed  _ friendly _ at first? _ Nico screamed in his head.  _ Of course it seemed friendly, it was trying to gain your trust. _

He took a deep breath. Then Will’s words sunk in. “He told you not to tell anyone? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Will protested.

“First, you are never allowed anywhere near an antique shop ever again,” Nico said, “and second, when a doll starts talking to you and tells you not to tell anyone about it, you should most definitely tell someone about it!”

Hazel looked down. “We  _ were _ going to tell you,” she mumbled. “I told him that you’d probably like to meet him because you’re a son of Hades and the Ghost King and all that, but then he said that you wouldn’t like him.”

“Because I have the power to exorcise him!” Nico said exasperatedly.

Will’s eyes widened. “No! You can’t do that to him!”

“Yeah, you’ll exorcise Blade over our dead bodies,” Hazel said, jutting her chin out.

“His name is  _ Blade? _ Blade?” Nico shouted. “And  _ that _ didn’t tip you off?”

“Hey, don’t make fun of him, _ Nicolas, _ ” Hazel said.

Nico blinked. “My name is Nico. Just Nico. And Nicolas is a normal name. Blade is the name of a serial killer or something.”

Will sniffed. “I didn’t know you were nameist when I started dating you, Nicolas.”

“Nameist? That’s not even a real word!”

“What are you, the word police?”

“Come on, Will,” Hazel said, standing up. “It’s clear my brother doesn’t care about Blade. It’s up to us to free him from wherever Nico has trapped him.”

“I don’t have him trapped,” Nico said, but Hazel and Will ignored him. They marched out of the Hades cabin with their heads held high.

“IT’S GOING TO KILL US ALL!” someone screamed.

Jason Grace literally flew into the Hades cabin with Percy Jackson hot on his heels. They slammed the door shut behind them and turned to Nico desperately.

“You’ve got to stop it, bro,” Percy gasped. “It’s insane.”

“Leo’s a goner,” Jason sputtered out. “It’s, like, immune to fire.”

“Blade is a cursed, talking doll,” Nico said. “Of course he’s immune to fire.”

Jason blinked. “How did you know his name is Blade? Oh my gods, did you curse it?”

“No,” Nico said, annoyed. “Apparently Hazel and Will thought it was a good idea to buy a doll from an antique shop. And they didn’t think it was a good idea to  _ tell _ someone when it started  _ talking _ to them. Nor when it told them not to tell anyone.”

Percy fell back against the door. “I thought they were so pure. I was wrong.”

“Oh no, they’re still very pure,” Nico assured him. “They think it’s their friend.”

“It literally stabbed Drew in the leg five times this morning,” Jason pointed out. “And it tried to pull Katie Gardner’s hair out before lunch. And it tried to make a tree fall on Connor and Travis Stoll. And Malcolm was in that tree at the time. When we left it was on fire and chasing Leo around Camp. Kayla shot its back full of arrows and the thing is still alive.”

“Bro, we need, like, a priest or something,” Percy said. “The church still has exorcists, right? Oh my gods, can they even, like, step foot in this place? Is that sacreligious? Oh my gods what do we—HOLY SHIT!” Percy scrambled away from the door.

Nico looked at the door to see five inches of a celestial bronze sword poking through. An evil cackle came from the other side.

“Oh my gods, we’re all gonna die!” Percy screamed. He and Jason were in the furthest corner of the cabin, clinging to each other like two idiots in a horror movie.

Nico rolled his eyes. He poured a semicircle of salt in front of the door, trying to ignore the cackling that was really beginning to creep him out.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Jason screeched as Nico reached for the door handle.

Nico sighed. “Ending this.” He opened the door and a tiny antique doll barreled into the cabin. It hit the salt line and bounced off. Nico quickly completed the salt line and frowned down at the doll.

“Hi, Blade,” Nico said.

“KILL IT!” Jason and Percy screamed.

The doll looked up at Nico with unblinking eyes. Nico stared back. Then he started chanting in Ancient Greek. The doll—Blade—started screaming and twitching. His screams drew the attention of Will and Hazel who immediately ran for the Hades cabin.

“NO!” Will yelled.

“BLADE!” Hazel yelled.

Nico finished his chants just as Will and Hazel reached the cabin.

“You killed him!” Hazel cried. She cradled the doll in her arms. “No, Blade.”

Will glared at Nico. “How could you do that to our poor child?”

Nico choked. “Your poor child? Your poor child was going to burn down the whole Camp if someone didn’t do anything!”

“He was just misunderstood!” Hazel wailed. “He could have changed, Nico, but you took that chance away from us!”

“AAHHHHHHH!” Percy screamed. He grabbed the doll from Hazel’s hands and ran out of the cabin. He didn’t stop screaming until he reached the center of the cabins and threw the doll into the fire.

“NOOOOO!” Hazel and Will yelled.

The campers of Camp Half-Blood let out a mighty cheer.

“What is going on here?” a voice demanded.

Everyone fell silent as Chiron galloped into the center commons. He crossed his arms and eyed them carefully.

“Well?” he asked.

“Hazel and Will bought a cursed, talking doll that tried to destroy the camp, so Nico trapped it and exorcised it,” Jason blurted. “Then Percy threw it into the fire.”

Chiron blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“That’s not what happened at all!” Hazel protested. “Will and I were trying to find Nico a present and we went to this antique shop and found this doll. It looked so sad and lonely that we just  _ had _ to buy it, Chiron.”

_ What did I tell you? _ Nico mouthed to Jason and Percy.  _ Pure intentions. _

_ The road to hell is paved with good intentions, _ Percy mouthed back. _And pure ones._

“When we got back to Camp, he told us his name was Blade,” Hazel continued, “and he was so glad we found him and that he would be our best friend. But then all these terrible things happened and Nico started blaming Blade even though it wasn’t his fault.”

“And then Nico got mad that we were defending Blade,” Will added. “The next thing we know, Nico’s saying stuff in Ancient Greek that’s causing poor Blade to be tortured and killed. And then Percy threw Blade’s body into the fire!”

Chiron looked pained. “I see. Perhaps we should host a, ah, funeral for… Blade?”

Hazel’s face brightened. “Oh would you? He’d really like that, Chiron, I know he would.”

“Absolutely my dear,” Chiron said with a fake smile. “Why don’t you and Will come help me with the preparations?”

“Yeah, we should leave  _ Nico _ out of this,” Hazel said darkly.

“It was possessed!”

“We’re all possessed!” Will retorted. “Will Solace’s soul is possessing this body. Chiron’s soul is possessing his body. Percy’s soul is possessing his body.”

“I’m possessed?” Percy asked in a high pitched voice. “Oh my gods, oh my gods, get it out of me! Nico, help meeeeeeee!”

“I hate you all,” Nico muttered.

* * *

Meanwhile on Olympus the twelve Olympians were gathered in the throne room for another boring meeting.

“Fish count in sector 25A?” Athena asked, reading off a scroll.

“800,” Poseidon answered.

“Fish count in sector 25B?”

“692.”

“Fish count in sector—”

“Enough with the fishes,” Hermes said, holding his eyes open with his hands. “Can’t you just ask Uncle P if the fish level is high, average, or low?”

Artemis frowned at him. “We need an accurate account of the number of wildlife in each sector of the Earth in order to combat extinction and endangered—”

“Forget I asked,” Hermes muttered. “Just continue, Athena.”

“Fish count in sector 25C?” Athena asked.

“12,” Poseidon answered.

Apollo tilted his head. “12?”

Poseidon threw up his hands. “I didn’t draw the lines! Sector 25C has only a tiny, tiny, tiny corner that’s actually water.”

“Who drew the lines?” Demeter asked, looking up from the plant she was holding.

“We have this conversation every time, guys,” Poseidon sighed. “Zeus drew the lines because  _ he’s _ the king.”

“Maybe we should overthrow him and draw new lines,” Hera mused.

Zeus looked panicked. “No! No. Bad idea.”

A cackle sounded around the large room. The gods and goddesses paused.

“Hades?” Poseidon tried.

Demeter looked annoyed. “Oh, please. IT’S SUMMERTIME, HADES! YOU CAN’T HAVE MY DAUGHTER FOR ANOTHER MONTH!”

The cackle continued.

Aphrodite glanced around. “I don’t think that’s Hades.” She reached down and pulled off her stilettos, holding them like weapons.

* * *

“Oh no,” Nico said suddenly.

Everyone looked at him.

“Uh, I made a tiny mistake,” he said. “That Ancient Greek chanting was supposed to be an exorcism, but… I kind of messed up. That chant only knocked Blade out for a minute.”

Percy’s eyes widened to the size of basketballs. “You mean, I touched the demon doll?”

Nico winced. “You touched the demon doll and, uh, sacrificed it to the gods,” he said.

Everyone looked at the sacrificial fire Percy had thrown the doll into.

“They’re gods,” Jason said after a minute. “I’m sure everything is fine.”

Katie Gardner ran her fingers through her half pulled out hair nervously. “Yeah. They’re gods. Everything’s fine.”

“Uh huh,” the Stolls nodded dubiously. “Fine.”

* * *

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO USE PERMANENT LIPSTICK, APHRODITE?”

“IT’S NOT LIKE I  _ KNOW _ DEMONIC DOLLS ARE GOING TO USE IT TO WRITE ON THE WALLS! THAT LIPSTICK IS FOR MY DIVINE LIPS ONLY!”

“HADES, THIS IS  _ NOT _ FUNNY! GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW AND FIX THIS PROBLEM!”

“You know what you need,” Demeter told Blade. “Some more cereal.”

“DEMETER, STOP TALKING TO IT AND KILL IT!”

Much like their sons only minutes before, Zeus and Poseidon were screaming and holding onto each other.

“WHICHEVER ONE OF OUR CHILDREN THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD BURNT OFFERING IS ON MY TO-SMITE LIST!”

“WELL IT WASN’T ANY OF _MINE._ _MY_ CHILDREN ARE SMARTER THAN THIS!”

“WE GET IT ATHENA, YOU HAVE SMART KIDS!”

“I have always wanted to say this!” Hermes said excitedly. He flew towards Blade. “Hey there, demon. It’s me. Ya boy.”

Blade responded to this by throwing a knife inches from the side of Hermes’s face.

“AHHHHHHHHH!” Hermes screamed, flying away.

“Sorry I’m late, I had to finish some paperwork,” Hades said absently as he entered the throne room. “I hope whatever you were calling me about wasn’t important. I had to deal with delegating a task force to finding…” he trailed off.

“IT’S A DEMON, HADES, THAT’S YOUR SPECIALTY! NOW KILL IT!”

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

“I’LL GIVE YOU TWO EXTRA MONTHS WITH PERSEPHONE IF YOU GET RID OF IT!”

“ARES, YOU CAN’T JUST BARGAIN MY DAUGHTER!”

Hades cleared his throat. “It seems I have found the escaped soul.” He stooped down and picked up Blade with his hand. A moment later, the doll dissolved into ashes as he banished the spirit back to the Underworld.

Zeus cleared his throat and detached from Poseidon. They returned to their respective thrones.

“If that’s all, then I’ll be going,” Hades said. He turned and walked out of the throne room.

Athena coughed and picked up the scroll. “Where were we?” she asked with force pleasantry.

“Sector 25C only had 12 fish and Hera’s going to organize another overthrowing Zeus party,” Apollo supplied helpfully.

“Right.” Athena plastered a wide fake smile on her face. “Fish count in sector 25D?”

“SECTOR 25D IS ALL LAND!” Poseidon shouted. “Hera? When are we overthrowing Zeus?”

Hera pulled out a phone. “I have a free day next week. Wednesday. Will that work for you?”

“Can we do Thursday? I promised Triton I’d go to family dinner on Wednesday and I might not make dinner if Zeus punishes us.”

“Hmm, yeah, okay, you’re right about that,” Hera nodded. She typed something into her phone.

Zeus looked at them incredulously. “I’m right here.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first prompt fic, so... hope you guys like it.
> 
> Originally, I was going to do Nico and Hazel bought the doll and Will was going crazy, but that would be too obvious. So I went with Will and Hazel bought the doll and Nico went crazy.


End file.
